scenes from a hat

Hey you guys! Its really been a long time since I've been here. I've forgotten what it's like to write here. I've actually lost my enthusiasm for computers. Can you believe it. No more messenger addiction. I almost feel empty now. I've been studying harder. Actually trying my best. But it also costs! I've never ever been as tired as I was last week. I told you about my new math teacher.. I guess that, on that first day he just wanted to show us who's the boss. Nowadays he's cool. I mean... well, in his own way I guess. (I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not scared of him anymore). ANYWAY I was really tired one morning when we had maths. I had just taken my calculator, as to count something meaningless, just to keep myself awake.. the next thing I remember was, I woke up.. with my calculator inmyhand and when I looked up.. the teacher was looking at me with this face.. omg.. that face.. it was like: "what the hell are you doing?" mixed with a laugh. Oh well.
I was also in the theatre. Ok it was for school, but I still went, didn't I? It was a play called seven brothers, by the national writer(?) Aleksis Kivi(=stone). What can I say.. well, I've never seen so many naked men in my life. I knew it was for eleven years and above, but I didnt realize thats what they were refering to. One funny thing was that I only laughed in parts where no one ealse did! I had to run to the busstop.. the play had gone overtime and I was luckily sitting next to the door. I was just waiting for the clapping to end. But it was just going on going on and going on. I almost fealt like crying out something like: YA OK YA. WE ALL KNOW ITS GOOD NOW.. PLEASE.... ah.. anyways. Finnish culture can be weird aaand I got the buss but I got sick..
I notised that something was wrong with my throat.. but as the days went on, it wasn't in my throat, it was my neck. I couldnt move my head without it being really painfull.. THEn the best part: There is a bump on my neck and now it even hurts to breathe. I could bee The Hunchneck of Tuomiokirkko-church. I went to a hospital.. (which is in a part of town where I used to live. I almost cried..) first you need to check to a nurse who decides are you enough worthy to see (the only) doctor or do you need to go to the nurse... Well the desk lady laughed at me when I said I had a painfull bump on my neck and sent me... TO THE nurse. It was a man called Pate. He sent me to a doctor near my home.. unfortunately the apointment is on monday so I've kind of been suffering the whole weekend.. Well Pate sent a letter to the doctor.. and there he needs to write whats wrong with the patient. Well in my paper there was reading: the patient has a lump on her neck. WELL THAT WILL MAKE THE DOCTOR TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. I can imagine myself walking in the room.. Me: hi *limping because of pain* Doctor: whats up Quasi´ HAHAHAHA get it HAHAHA.. sorry.. so sit down................. Pate could have just written : handicap neck or something. That would have sounded better :D. SO I just hope I dont have canser. Which I dont :D and even if I did i'd just go and buy a gigant afro wig incase all my hair has to go because of the treatment. (chemotherapy?).. I'm kinda sad actually because I need to miss school in the morning and the exam week is coming. ( THE EXAM WEEK IS COMING!!!???) But what the heck. I can sleep longer.

p.s. I hope Im not sick on wednesday. I'm giving a speech in finnish class. I've been nervous about it for weeks. I've been planning it for weeks and I AM DOING IT !!! no LUUUMPPP will stop me.! YARR.. I was supposed to celebrate - getting through it -- by going to the movies, but since they have increased the price I think I'll just buy Ben&Jerry´s icecream <33 OR make pancakes as one wise young lady once adviced. (hahahaha)

Um... about what I wrote the other day.........

I think I'll take back what I said about being a doctor.
Because.
Well. I just said it because I'm a noob. (Well, that made things much clearer!!???) I mean that. I cant expect that everything comes easily. Nothing comes for free I guess.. I actually have lots to say but I'm soo busy right now. Please hang on.. I'll come comment your blogs sometimEEE! (hopely before judgement day)

"when you wish upon a star"

I was supposed to conquer the world. See Europe by train. Move to a English speaking country. Now I'm even scared to move to Helsinki. I dont need to. I still have something like 2 years to think.. Yeah. Thinking. I've been doing it again. I'm kinda lost. I wish I knew what I'm supposed to do with my life. I need a hug.

CURSE YOU, BLOG PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s I get lots of spam in my email. the otherday I got 75 and 3 real mails.. those are the times you wish you lived in a none civilisationed (?????) world. BUT HA! I bought a spam.. terminator XD and it should work now. Damn them if it doesnt :D

did you know emo hairstyles have names?

Its night.
I have a jetlag that I got from my holiday. I was just at home, lost in translation. Ok I wasnt. I mean I was, you know what I mean. If you dont, dont nagggg. Today I went to my friendsplace and we did our english project for about 8 hours (minus the time we ate). One of us I wont mention by name was kind of tired in a laughy mood way. She had been watching Grey's anatomy for 27 hours. We forgave her.
I have been happy. I dont feel like complaining!! I feel so good that I think that tomorow i wont complain about the large amount of Latin homework we will get NOR the food at school! THE FOOD! hahaha. right.
so where was I. YEAH. its night. and I cant sleep. And um. I now( think I) know that I'll not be a doctor.. I just have to explain it to my parents. My MOTHER wants me to get a summerjob from Nokia(siemens networks)... god. I dont want to let them down or anything. Its just that.. studying has lost its worth. kinda. Everybody studies. Most of the people end up in boring jobs and dont do their best.. and try to retire as early as possible. Why do you think banks are advertising all those: WE'LL HELP YOU SAVE MONEY FOR YOUR PENSIONABLE YEARS- thingies. (atleast here in Finnoland.)
(I put the "o" there by purpose)
well.. I think I'll try to get some sleap. Atleast I can see some friends tomorrow.

Did you know Amelie was a emo movie?

Oh and Futile couch, I know your reading this(stalker!!). I like your banana bf.

whatta

im so confused!!! the picture in my blog changes by itself.. and I'm so scared.
why is it masterminding me!!

I am happy I'm relaxed. I am happy I'm relaxed. I am happy..

So. Here I am look at me. I'm the funky bee-ee-
--no. that wasnt my point.
I'm just. Happy. Even though my holiday is almost finnished. I went to see my family in another town. I dont know.. my parents were in a really good mood. I got the dvd machine in my room and I've watched so many movies. (Including a Hilary Duff film. v__v) I was supposed to study, but I finally gave up. When its holiday its holiday not studyday. Ok that really sucked, but you get the point. One evening my Dad just got the idea that we go and see Enchanted and we just left at the minute in a rush. It was funny. kind of a joke... But funny. I've also eaten ALOT. And unfortunately It already shows from the outside. This week I ate fastfood 4 times in a row.. Hm. Today we went to take a family picture at some studio. I was kind of embarrased, but it wasnt so bad. I just hated the fact that I had to smile by force. Onse the photographer was like: if you smile one more time, after that you can leave. THEN I SMILED. It was so fake, but I did smile. and the photographer was scared.
this is all for now. I'm tired and my feet are killing me.

p.s tomorrow I need to go and do a written version of a oral report at my friends place v__v
p.ps i wanted to buy a book by coelho. i got it... but in swedish