a list

Some things I want to share. I listed them because they are so many:

1. The army weekend
2. THE DANCE
3. (My) birthday
4. the contact lense. part one
5. toisen menettäminen (it's in finnish just for fun)

So stay tune. I'll be back... if I have time that is :DD

Now that I started with the Finnish language: Here are useful phrases (Speak Finnish like a Restless Native: http://www.kisa.ca/finnish-phrases.html) :

Is it OK if I bring my laptop in the sauna?
Käyhän että tuon kannettavani saunaan?

What is that thing sticking out of your ear?
Mikä tuo korvastasi pilkottava juttu on?

BUSYness

People just are os busy nowadays. The funny part is that even though you check your watch every ten minutes, in the end you might end up noticing that you've don nothing. It's horrible. We have the same ammount of time as always.. 24hours.. where did all the tasks come from Are they really so obligatory? OMG. I'll loose it if Idon't start taking better care of my time table. I just don't want to end up singing "Should have could have would have" blues. We are only human so... we can only do stuff until the limit. I don't know... I've started to be happy about living and I've started to do things I've always wanted to do. (I sound like I'm going to die soon) I took up dancing ;D. Now I only need to learn Spanish and French and go to India and Australia and I think I could die happy. (Ok it's not that simple)... I just think being "busy" is a disease. And you just need to stop believing in it.. When you feel like crying when ever you are alone... and you don't have time to go to the movies... you know you need to think about priorities.

Great. I really don't make sence.
I hope you could get even a small hunch about what I was trying to say.

S.C.H.O.O.L

School started. It was really nice to see all the gloomy faces but it's the first day of school and I'm already stressed. I'm so busy. I can't understand what consumes my time like this. I wish I was more organized. I can't breathe...

Sweet beautiful soul saving joy

Today was my last working day at the old people home. Yesterday evening I was so scared. I just didn't want to fail again. I left at the last minute feeling nervous.

When I got there, the hall was nearly empty. I walked silently to the office where I'd leave my clothes but my invisibleness game ended there because my "boss" was there. This time she started showing me what I could do. I was really relieved. I started work by styling someones hair. I'm really bad with hair issues. I think I managed pretty well. The woman didn't say a word the whole time. Neither did I but I think we got along very well.

Then the boss had an idea that I could gather a group and talk with them. By then I was really panicing inside my head. I usually hate talking to people because I'm afraid they are bored to death. But now that I've had some more experience I know it's mostly my mind playing games with me. It'really hard though trying to tell your alter ego people don't hate you... I'm really happy I didn't run away because sitting as a group made my job much easier. I think I didn't suck at all... And I didn't get my usual introvert symptoms. I asked them quiz questions, we talked about marriage and rock and one womans husbands new bitchy girlfriend...

The woman who had a crush on that model with a big moustache has another passion too: MURDERS! "The more murders, the better I sleep" she said. Well, whatever makes you happy... Yesterday she watched a movie of Agathat Christie's Hercule Poirot and some mystery he was solving. Today when I left she was watching some old German detective series.

I need some proof that I've actually been working so we were supposed to take a paper to be signed at the work place. I forgot the paper in another town... The printer wouldn't work so I had to write it by hand. I managed to misspell the date and the name of the boss. I wrote the text again on the other side but then I actually gave her the crappy side instead. Oh well.. It's water under a bridge now.

I also got the courage to ask for a summerjob from the home. I'm not sure will it work out but atleast she took my number and smiled and stuff. I'm going to visit the place later on aswell. I'm sad because just when I started to get a hunch of it, I had to leave. I thought I wasn't a chit chatter but I could keep letting words come out of my mouth for nearly two hours. Plus today I didn't mid the nurses. Plus they were really friendly (they were different ones). We even played The Beatles- Let it be together.

Oh mama. I'm just so happy for not being a total failure.

picture from: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Old_woman_feeding_birds.jpg

DOOOHHH!!

It's on holiday right now but I just want the whole world to know that HOLIDAY is just a word. A thorough high school student only has different occasions when they can study at home. One should schedule their work wisely but atleast I've really had a hard time enjoying my "free time. Why? Well mostly because I've got so many things to do and I don't feel like doing them. A part of me says I can relax. When ealse could I relax than on my holiday. But even the English teacher told us to do our book review. Oh my sweet guts. I'm going mad. But I've really tried...

And I just fealt bad and ate marmelade.

But atleast I've slept more. I've had time to be with my family. I could think, listen to music, drink lots of soda....

Life is so weird. First you feel like you'll die but then you always get through it. Usually.

Always.

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Sometimes I really hate the bling bling culture. The furr, diamond teeth, blue night clubs and (and soon pregnant) women. I have to be fair though. Sometimes I try to learn all those cool dance moves in my room. And I've always longed for an attitude of a fly sista sista if you know what I mean. Ok. Enough with stereotypes.

Couple of days ago I saw a programme about Snoop Dogs family. I couldn't help it. I just didn't like him. But then I saw what the episode was about I think he wanted to renew his weddig vow. It was a suprise for the wife. He bought huge rings and really put some effort (read: money) to the party. The woman said yes to the big question. Snoops uncle Charlie sung "their song" and then Snoopy started crying. And their 3 children were there too!

I know that the fact that the programme was from e entertainment should make it dubious but he really had me with the crying. I couldn't find a legal picture of Snoop but this graffiti symbols him. And I want to apologize for believing in stereotypes.

DOH! I just saw him in a picture holding a gun...

who? me?

For a long time I've wanted to try doing volunteer work in a old folks home. Old people (ok. that's kind of a useless term. I mean who is actually old enough to be a old person...) are so cool and wise. Somehow it's easy with them. But I think there are three phases in oldness:

1. Actually realizing that you'll not live forever (some people never even get to phase one)
2. Slowing up, Forgetting stuff, telling stories about childhood, going to many cruise trips...
3. Being a vegetable

I'm a little scared when I think that someday I might be really lost. Somehow I dispise old peoples homes. Most of them. It's just a box where the people are put in. I hope I'll never have to live there.

I was working at a old people's home today. Most of the time I played the piano. But after I had played all the songs twice, I thought that maybe I could go and talk to someone. But I just freaked out. I just didn't know how to. I didn't want the nurses to hear me.. HA. It was phatetic. One nice woman working at the place came to talk to me though. I had to write it so I'd be fair. I knew I could read them the newspaper.. I had lots of material. I just froze. After standing in a corner for a while looking stupid (and the staff looking at me like I'm stupid) I decided that I wont be a looser and I went and sat next to someone.
I totally suck at chitchatting but I'm a good listener. One woman had a bear calle princess. She really loved that bear, I tell you. She couldn't find a peace of mind since her shoes were lost. She said she needed to walk home, see. "How can I possibly walk home without my shoes", she cried. An other woman was yelling for help because she thought I was her niece. She also fealt bad because she was afraid she'd die. I totally understand her. One man was tied to a chair I don't know why. So he jus spent all his energy and time trying to stand up.
My personal favourite was a charming old lady who sat very close to the tv. I sat next to her and saw magazine. First she aske who I was. She liked my name. I saw she had a magazine infront of her. On one of the pages was a picture of the model. The woman started telling me how beautiful the man was, how she really loved him. I fealt sorry for the model because he had such a bad rash on his face. Then I looked closer and I saw it was just lipstick on the paper... After some minutes a new years concert from Vienna begun. The first thing the same lady stated was that the conductor was handsome. WOW. We'll she's really got it going!
At the end of my first work day I fealt like a superlooserjerk. I went to report that I'm leaving. My boss, supervisor thanked me (for playing the piano! Not for standing arround though). She sounded suprised because I said I'd come back tomorrow. (well excuse me). A granny was really sad because I was leaving. She was happy when I said I'd come back. SHE WAS HAPPY BECAUSE I SAID I'D COME BACK. She saved my day. I'll go back and try to do my best. I'm damn scared though. I can't believe I'm actually capable of doing useless volunteer work :D.