Why can't I find myself

I really find it hard to make decisions. My friend wanted me to join myspace. But I just don't feel like it. If I'd go, it would only be because "everybody ealse" is there. Why is it so hard to just go your own way. For me it seems to be hard that is. One really wise lady told me that when I get older, I'll start to see that the world is a much bigger place that I thought, and its open for me too. Then I'll know that it's not that important what others think. Gawie. This is really much bigger than myspace, isn't it. You know what. For now. I'll not sign up! I want to try to be myself. Why do I still feel so insecure. I'm supposed to feel like a heroine right now... Hello? Glorious feeling??? I'm still waiting.
I really find it hard to try to go after my dreams. I always see famous people saying all you need to do is FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. All I say is : bullocks. I've also heard lots of: "You've got to stop dreaming and go for it". I want to learn German. But somehow.. I just sit down crying to myself how I suck at it, instead of doing something?! How stupid is that. This has got to stop. Life's too short for that kind of nonsence. I'll let you know how long I'll have this revolutionary thought. I wont.... fail.. I must.... keep... going.......