I'm useless v__v

I WAS SUPPOSED TO CLEAN MY ROOM.. and now it's even worse.
I really need to renew my rooms look. It's really.. ah.
GREAT. I feel miserable again.
BULLOCKS.
Maybe I can laugh at this tomorrow.

futile couch.

HAHAA. More honours. No I'm not dying.. and no I'm not going through a AA- recovery program. I just want to.. I don't know. Anyway. First it was emperor now its you. Hm. I really find it hard to say it in words. Even though I don't hear from you that often anymore you are like my soulmate or something. I couldn't imagine life without my favourite furniture. so you're not futile to me. Phihi. I'm really really happy to have a friend like you and if it's up to me, you'll never get rid of me. aHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hmm is there anything ealse mushy I could say. YEs. Thank you for being there. Thank you for always making me feel like I'm worth something, even though i'm silly. Thank you. HAAAVE A NICEEE DAYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Love

emperor ropi.

Hi. I just want to thank you. Why? Because of listening and actually showing it with the comments!! YESs. Its obviosly what people do to other peoples blogs, but it just feel that you care. Even if you don't.. well then let me believe it. LOL. I hate it when I talk to people and they don't listen. Geez people can be busy but.. I don't know. Thanks anyway. If you'll read I'll write.
Yesterday I was really sad in the evening. When I get sad (in the evenings) I start to be really masochistic. I stay up as late as possible even though I know I'll have a staying up late- hang over the next day. Haha. Well. Luckily today was an awesome day. I've really learnt something. When you have a bad experience.. You can actually look back and just.. feel really good about it later. Its just life.

politics and anger management

Today I payed attention to the news. It's almost scary how nothing suprises me anymore. A woman from WHO was pleading for people to pay attention to the crisis going on in the world. Hunger. Somehow I just don't understand why people are dying of hunger and we "rich" people are sitting and wondering what we could do. Sometimes I just see politics as people with expencive suits and boring hairdoos sitting arround a table talking. Talking about how they can save the world and still get money or atleast benefit from it. I mean why is it so hard to help? Why do we always need to talk. I mean there wouldn't be the Europe of today if it weren't for the riches of the thirld world countries. But ofcourse I'm just a high school student full of angst.
I really have a problem with anger. Even though I try.. I tend to keep everything inside myself. There aren't so many people I can trust my thoughts to. My honest thoughts.. Sometimes I just explode. Small stuff make me so pissed.. I don't even know why. I have the Hulk disorder. But I explode inside and then hurt other people by being kind of rude. Not in a major way, but enough. Sigh. Yes maybe it has something to do with my teens, but oh what the heck.
All my life I've been scared of people who want to like.. Own you. Only be with you. They hold on to you. But now I'm afraid I'm started to be pushy. I'm not sure. I really miss this person. One evening I just layed on my bed thinkin what if that person finally has had enough of me becouse I'm always there. That wouldn't be fair, but what is.

A fresh start

I've really been away for a long time. It's almost rediculous. I was sure I would stop, but I can't keep everything in my head. I looked at my previous texts and kind of laughed.. I remember when I wrote them that I had this feeling, that I really am saying something important. Revolutional maybe. Honestly. I sayed many things, but they really are pointless. Maybe. I really don't know. I had a really hard time then. Maybe these thoughts have been thought out loud many times in history, but I still will think and pretend I thought it up. Many things have happened during these months and I kind of would like to move on, so that's why this is a fresh start. I even changed the layot or what ever...

some people are musical some people can draw mona lisa with microsoft paint