http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cvIHdSnQyY&feature=related

I've been battling with lots of issues this year. 2010 has been the year of issues. But when you think of it... who hasn't had trouble? Ha. Well I don't like it when things aren't going well. My new task was to just free myself from every burden. I even started building these magic walls around me so that I couldn't get hurt. But being alone behing those fences made me think alot. I saw people who helped me think. And I read books by people who were done with their thinking. No,

I didn't invent any psychological theory but to me these things are true:

Being hurt wont take you anywhere. Quite on the contrary. It's actually a trap since it stops you from being who you really are supposed to be. It stops you from enjoying life and just makes you self centered and paranoid. The pain is inevitable but it's ok to move on.

To really forgive someone who's wronged you, is the hardest thing you need to do.

Secondly. Problems aren't something to run away from. Well because you really can't and because they make you grow. It's the only thing that really makes you grow...

Isn't that one of the reasons we are here? To grow as people?

Light at the end of the tunnel

I almost had forgotten my password to the blog. That's how long I've been away. GAH. I think I've forgotten how to write but I want to learn again. This post is short but it's just to say that I'm alive.

I've been away for long. First it was because of school, I guess, but then I was worn out and then... Well anyway... This is a new beginning.

Thanks for still being there.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Highway_D1_Slovakia_10.JPG

My India

I have a dream. I want to go and do volunteer work in India next November. The trip is organized by Maranatha Volunteers in Finland. They fix buildings like schools, health centers and hospitals and churches. The groups that go consist of different specialists and also just random people who want to help. The Maranatha Volunteers will fix a school for the blind (sorry for not using PC-language) in central India. The trips take about two to three weeks and include some cultural exploring. Like this trip possibly includes a trip to Taj Mahal.

I have no clue where this passion for working and enthusiasm towards India came from. Maybe it's just because I'm young and naive and still got lots of childish faith and courage. I've been interested in Development policy for a long time already so that probably influences me. I'm also interested in meeting people and being in a new culture that totally differs from mine. Sigh... I want to go but then I come back to reality since the voyage wont be free, especially since it's volunteer work. If I get a summer job I think I could handle the costs but I can't use everything at ago. I think I could get a little help if I really try to use my imagination. I've got some ideas but right now I'm just praying and waiting for a miracle. Miracles do happen you know. I just can't stand the idea of not going... But if it's meant to be, it'll happen.

In a way I feel like I'm hypocrite. Today I was in the bus I saw an old lady running to the bus. The bus was full and I knew if someone wouldn't give her their seat, she'd have to stand. I knew I could be that someone but I just got scared because I like to sit in the bus and I didn't want people to look at me... I've got some issues and I can be really shy... Another woman stood up so I was more at ease... but why am I such a sissy. In what way is it embarrasing to do something good? I know that the Finnish culture can be really icy but... It's so strange that I'm going to India to do good things but am cold here? Hypocrite.

So, Ropi, that's why I need a sponsor ;)

Pic http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Delhi_main_bazaar.jpg

Haiti

Usually when bad things happen I don't feel anything. The events happen so often that I've become numb.

The earthquake in Haiti made feel really bad. My heart bleeds blood for all the people who have lost everything and everyone. I cry out loud because it's so unfair... But we've got to help the people in a way or an other: prayers, money... We just have to let them know they aren't alone.

We are so lucky, aren't we. I found a song from one of Putumayo wold music's cd´s. It's a song by a Haitian musician Beethova Obas. The song is called Rasanblé (Come Together). "Obas calls on his fellow Haitians to unite. Thinking only of yourself, he sings, will just make the country's dismal situation worse."

I think people could use a little help so... rasanblé guys!

(Sorry for the dancing girls. they kind of ruin it for me after this emotional post :D)

ho ho ho

I want to wish you guys a happy Christmas! Thank you for being there :)

why

A girl was raped on Friday. No, it wasn't me. Yes, I know - these things happen everyday. Even in Finland. It's just... 'these things' happen in the papers - never to us. Nothing happened to me, nor to anyone I know personally but it happened just behind our apartment block in a forest and it was only 9.45 p.m. I think I saw a policecar... I'm not sure was it on Friday, though.

The worst thing is that.. the girl was 17 and she was coming home from a place nearby where people go do sports and other freetime activities... SHE COULD HAVE BEEN ME! I don't think the girl was irresponsible.. She was probably just going home after her dance class or something.. like she always had done before...

Where do those people come from? They think they own someone and can use them like that... In away.. to me.. that was a wakeup call: I really need to stop living in a bubble. I need to be more careful. Now I really understand why my parents used to be so worried and protective when I was smaller.... I don't live in a bubble. I'm not going to be paranoid for the rest of my life... but I just...

...I feel really sorry for the girl. It's not like she'll go and see a shrink and things'll get better. How can she ever even look at a man without feeling disgusted?

These things happen every day, don't they. I can't carry all these things on my shoulders but this time I'm really sorry. I bet she won't see this post but well. If you do I truly am sorry. It doesn't make things right... It might not even make sence... but I truly am.

And you horny selfish migrants (note: I'm not a racist. the girl said they weren't finns) who can't make yourselves useful: I hope you're happy. You've successfully ruined someones life. For good.

Don't cross the picket line

Wikimedia commons: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e4/070707_garden_grove_picket_line_2.JPG

I'm tired of always just watching how things'll turn out.

There's not that much money because of this horrible fincial crisis that's been bugging our lives for so long. It's not the first time in the world... these things happen. It's just the first time these economical issues affect my life in a negative way... so that I can see it. As a child when things were badly Mom and Dad and every other adult would fix it. Sigh.

They want to close down many schools and make bigger ones inorder to save money. How? Well when they've got fewer buildings to look after for they can save money... I don't know ALL the facts. No official desicions have been made so this is the time when one should complain. According to the local newspaper, even the city bureaucrats are awe-struck about the major plans which is kind of silly since they are the people desiding... I don't want to sound naive. I don't know all the facts and I'm sure all the officials are, in a weird way, thinking about everyones best.. It's just that...

Politicians seem to forget us.. forget the everyday life. YES there is too little money.. We have to make changes. I don't object the changes but I wish they'd remember that too big class sizes make it really hard for the students to learn properly. Yes, with more pupils, more interesting courses can be arranged. Like one can stude Portugese for example since in a school of 1000 people there will be more than one interested in the language and the course needn't be arranged for only one or two people. But in my oppinion the most important thing is that we can get good teaching and then get a good general knowledge we can use in life and then educate ourselves and then be useful to our community. I'm sure in the end, everyone agrees with me. For example... They teach Japanese to high school students in our school. Many people are interested and they come from all over the city. Why can't we just be individual schools and cooperate. Mix schools that have a completely different tradition..? nerds versus artists... No way José. Too hasty and shallow desicions may cost alot in the future.

I just don't know. All I know is I don't want to just sit and watch. I don't even know why I care since I'll be long gone by the time they'l (possibly) l close the schools. I'm afraid I'll sound too naive and... Writing to a newspaper is so official. One other girl from our school said it'd be great if I did it... if many could write.. since then it'd get more attention. Argh. Sigh. Gah. I wish I could hind behind a nick name. Many have suggested that I should use our schools Finnish teacher's name but I know there are easier ways to commit suicide...