fan-bloody-tastic

I actually. I actually made the speech! Somehow its like those minutes of my life just went by without me. I cant really remember what happened. I remember seeing the teachers face. Then I remember one boys face. I remember the look on the teachers face and I couldnt understand what it meant.. There was this really nice person, whom I dont know, and she was just smiling all the time! It was so.. it made me feel calm. I couldnt react to it because I was so "frozen". Anyway, in some parts, people actually laughed.. Hmm.. Maybe I could get used to this. But I'm overwhelmed that its over now. Those 3 weeks of toture and exitement were enough for now.
Lately I've come to so many situations where I need to make big decisions. I've always been kind of a fencesitter in making decisions, but I'm making progress. Its funny how I always need to learn by the harder way, from my mistakes.
Important things that have need major action:
a) Need to move on with life and not self piti myself. No more worrying about "the oposite sex" -matters.
b) I decided to change my schedule, so that I'll do my highschool in 3.5 years. I'm sure its better that way.
c) WE ARE TAKING A FREANCH EXCHANGE STUDENT for 11 days. And next year-- TO FRANCE. VIVE LA FRANCE (I guess?). I pray she wont be too snobby.. I'd like to get along with her.
Yeah. Thats allbout it..
Today I had this mediocre feeling. I fealt like I'll never be anything. I was telling my friend how I'll just be picking up peoples trash when I grow up.. She said that they are really important people, but that didn't really make me feel better. Again I was grumpy when I got home, but escaped to the library. The place always makes me happy. I don't know why. There I also got a hint. A vision. A what-ever-you-want-to-call-it. I think I'll study Chemistry if the whole medicine thing wont work out. Then I might become a engineer. That profission that even hearing of it used to make me sick. Funny how people change.

Or maybe its just that we remember and get to know new stuff about ourselves.



p.s. MY FRIEND BROUGHT ME THIS GORGEOUS NECKLACE FROM INDIA! I think I'll never take it off.