E=mc2

Today was a normal day. No. I actually it was not normal, since I was happy and laughed a lot even though it's Monday. I loved the Finnish lesson today. Our teacher was hilarious and I was also kind of tired. I have two Finnish courses right now, so sometimes they are after oneother. I saw from the paperpile and the teachers face that we'll get our media essays back. There were like 20 different media related topics and you needed to choose one of them and ANALYZE or what ever you were told to do. It took about 70 minutes for the teach to tell us about all the things we did horribly wrong. And that our level was really low. Thankfully one person had gotten the idea right. The teacher read it out loud. It was good. Wow. I wish I could write like that. It took me like 5 minutes to be able to look what grade I'd got. Since if the teacher needed 99% from the time to complain, I was sure I had done badly. I was scared, since I really had tried. Writing is something I like to take seriously. It's really hard to be analytic. That's nearly all we do in high school. And when I fail, I just feel useless and stupid. Ok, so I eventually looked at my resolts. The essay sucked. I had really tried. I thought I had really good ideas, but they were too shallow. I don't want to be naive. But It really hurt. Ha. I know this is actually brilliant, since now I can learn. I'll really put my mind on the next text I write, and then try to avoid the same mistakes.. But.. Now I tried changing my habits, like writing useless posts before doing my homework.. I really try my best always.. But now the results still suck. Yes I know school is the place where you're supposed to learn, but I feal so stupid. But I'll still try. All these words of angst wont help. I need to try more. Nothing will ever come easy. Even in the stuff where you think you'll manage automatically. Sigh. :(

oh.. and I got 30 points from 6o. That would be like the grade 7. The scale is 4 to 10. Ten is the best. So it's..... mediocre.