I never had this enormous band phase. I'm telling you. It's true. I don't know how it's possible. I remember I drew pictures of the Spice girls in pre-school, but I really didn't understand anything much about being a real fan. I loved the Spice girls lollipops. I never had THE shoes though (my Finnish teacher though they were shoes for disabled people). Anyway. I couldn't believe my ears when i learnt in my media course that everything about the bands has been planned. It's a conspirasy. Why? I guess I was the only one in Jerusalem who hadn't thought of it. Obviously it's fake, but why? Why would anyone want to harm us. We were just innosent children! Anyway here are the five phases of the POPmaterialisticstupidness:1. "What are you nuts? Everyone knows them!!???"
(Well first the members were found by a newspaper ad or something. They know from the start that it's fake...) The band suddenly appears everywhere. Record companies have bought every space for them. Lots of fan nonsence apper. If you want to be in, you need to listen to the music, since it's the new alternative choise! Have you ever noticed that the members of the band are actually a more important thing than the music... HA! The create an image. "Something for everyone" is their motto. Since some pre-teens are having a phase where they fall in love with idols.. I can't believe they've actually payed some shrinks to think about stuff like that.
2.How to become a real block-head
Money money money. Really weird fan clubs have rules and if you really really are a true fan, you need to do what you're asked.
Quotes from the New Kids On The Block magazine (Our teacher gave us copies: NKOTB Magazine Special . Frida Förlaget. Stockholm 1991, p.20-21):
RULES:
- If you want to dress like a real fan, you'll invest on a true Boston street look.
- Don't put too much make up. The boys value naturality. (wow. the parents will really fall for that one)
- A real Block head doesn't really need wall paper, because her/his room is covered with New-Kids posters and pictures. If your parents will put new wallpaper in your room, you will ofcourse put the pictures back (carefully)
- YOU HAVE TO KNOW THEIR MUSIC. It would be best if you'd know the lyrics by heart. Always sing whenever you hear their music.
QUOTES FROM FANS
(from my teachers research in 1991)
- There are some really stupid guys in our class. They think that New Kids suck. They only listen to Guns'nRoses even though that Axl is ugly and not as lovely as Jordan Knight for example. Or Jon or Joe or Danny or Donnie
- I have every cd and magazine except one and then my Mum has ordered stuff that were advertised in the magazines. People say that I'm the best fan. There are couple of girs that aren't really fans, but they say they are so that we would hang out with them, but we wont since they don't love New kids enough
3. swarm
This is the part where teenage girls colonize a hotel where a boy band is staying. Fans of different bands argue. The managers are careful and try to see when the bands popularite will start to decrease. Some "individual" ex-fans start to look for a newer sound...
4. "Did you hear that they might break up?"
The big bosses start to see that people are not interested in the fan nonsences anymore. They actually start a gossip about the band breaking up. It's all false. (I ALWAYS NEW IT WASN'T GERYS FAULT THAT THE SPICE GIRLS BROKE UP) All the loyal fans think it's their fault and they start to buy more fan material so that they could stop the horrible thing from happening. Managers are happy. Their masterplan is workind.. The bands start making films, appearing on tv-shows. It's all because the record company wants to see if someone of the members has potential to be a individual popstar...
5.Mommy. It's overrr... :(
The phenomenon has ended as planned. (YES YES AS PLANNED. Gah). Every product is sold out. After couple of years they sell some useless stuff and if people seem interested, there might be a comeback...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA materialism
7 kommenttia:
GYAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA (don't ask I have a severe brain damage)
I liked Spice girls too when I was a little kid... then I realized that I don't really like their music.
...
Wait a minute... I don't listen to female singers at all. Unless they are from a wacky musical XD
I remember when Spice Girls got popular around here :D. I was probably the only one in my class who had no fucking idea who they were and it annoyed the hell out of me that while I tried to ask who is Mel B and Mel C everyone would ignore me and argue about who has the most photographs or stickers... WTF?
Well, by the time I got some, the hype was over so nobody cared anyway and eventually I threw all the shit out because they sucked anyway :'D
I did listen to Backstreet Boys! And I still do. So I'm not sure if that counts as a phase? I guess I just haven't moved on... BAHAHAHAA
Haha . Nice post Ebs! I have a friend who travelled the world to see Westlife! Sometimes it's good to be 'older'. I don't have to listen to pretty boys. There's a formula though. The bad boy (Robbie Williams type), the pretty boy, the gawky one with a falsetto voice and the boy next door! As for the music . .sux
7777: is Sweeney Todd wacky then?
spacecake: BACKSTREET BOYS!? oh man.
baino: thanks mate! I have my falsetto days, but I always fall for the bad boy :(. Robbie Williams is not bad enough thoug. (:D)
I have never really dealt with such issues, those bands are not in my sphere of influence.
Yes. Sweeney Todd is. Dark, wacky, bloody and Burtonesque so it's truly my cup of tea. ;D
Jesus. This really is sad.
By the way, have you ever thought of doing something about your writing? It sounds terrible the way i said it. Um, i mean, like try and become a journalist or something. I really think that you'd be good at it.
Lähetä kommentti